Lesson 10  -  Choppy Sentences

Tennessee Blueprint - 5th Grade
Assessed - Select the best way to combine sentences to provide syntactic variety within context.

Assessed - Identify within context a variety of appropriate sentence-combining techniques (i.e., comma + coordinating conjunction, use of semicolon, and introductory phrases and/or clauses).

Developing - Combine simple sentences into compound sentences.

Developing - Combine sentences using compound subjects and/or predicates.

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In this lesson you will learn how to correct choppy sentences that have words that are repeated in two or more sentences. You can determine this by asking, "Do adjacent sentences contain the same subject and/or the same verb?" Rule 1:  Different Subjects - Same Predicate When two people or things do the same thing, try to tell about it in one sentence. Little Ann likes to hunt for raccoons. Old Dan likes to hunt for raccoons. Little Ann and Old Dan like to hunt for raccoons.

If you use I as part of a combined subject, put I last.

I am going hunting after dinner. Grandpa is going hunting after dinner.
Grandpa and I are going hunting after dinner.

Rule 2:  Different Predicates - Same Subject
If you have one person doing more than one thing, then place the verbs in a string.

Billy trapped the raccoon. Billy skinned the raccoon.
Billy trapped and skinned the raccoon.

Rule 3:  Avoid writing sentences that repeat the same words again and again.

Billy's sisters like peppermint sticks.  Billy's sisters like jawbreakers.
Billy's sisters like peppermint sticks and jawbreakers.

Remember if more than two things are named then you must use commas.

Billy has a lantern. Billy has an ax. Billy has two coon dogs.
Billy has a lantern, an ax, and two coon dogs.

Practice

Part A - Correctly combine the following sentences.

1. I saw Little Ann far up the old fence row sniffing. I saw Little Ann far up the old fence row running here and there.

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2. They ran up. They ran down the barbed-wire fence on both sides.

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3. I saw Little Ann throw up her head. Little Ann started to whine.

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4. I never liked to hear the helpless cry. I never liked to hunt the young coon.

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5. Rainie said that he was chicken-livered. Rubin said that he was chicken-livered.

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Part B - Multiple Choice

1. Choose the sentence that correctly combines the following underlined sentences.

   I could see them standing on their hind legs.
   I could see them tearing and slashing at each other.

   1. I could see them standing on their hind legs, tearing and slashing at each other.
   2. On their hind legs they were tearing and slashing at each other.
   3. I could see them tearing and slashing and standing.
   4. I could see them standing and slashing each other.
2. Which of the following is written correctly?
   1. His mouth and eyes and face as white as chalk were opened wide.
   2. His face was as white as chalk, his mouth and eyes were wide opened.
   3. His mouth and eyes were opened wide, and his face was as white as chalk.
   4. His face as white as chalk opened his mouth and his eyes.
3. How can the error in the following sentence be fixed?

   I awakened my mother, I awakened my father.

   1. I awakened my mother and father.
   2. My mother awakened and my father.
   3. My father and mother awakened by me.
   4. I awakened my mother, awakened my father.
4. Choose the answer that correctly combines the following underlined sentences.

   The hound ran up to the graveyard.
   The hound started sniffing and bawling.

   1. The hound ran and sniffed and bawled at the graveyard.
   2. The hound ran up to the graveyard, and started sniffing and bawling.
   3. The hound ran up to the graveyard, and the hound started sniffing and bawling.
   4. The bawling and sniffing hound ran up to the graveyard.
5. Choose the sentence which is worded the best.
   1. The muscles in my stomach knotted. The muscles in my stomach jerked.
   2. The jerked muscles in my stomach knotted.
   3. The muscles jerked and the muscles knotted in my stomach.
   4. The muscles in my stomach knotted and jerked.
6. Which of the following is written correctly?
   1. A slow drizzle had set in and it was cold.
   2. A cold, slow drizzle had set in.
   3. A cold drizzle and a slow drizzle had set in.
   4. A drizzle that was cold, and it was slow had set in.
7. Choose the answer that correctly combines the following underlined sentences.

   Mama was upset because of the accident.
   Papa was upset because of the accident.
   Billy was upset because of the accident.

   1. Mama, Papa, and Billy was upset because of the accident.
   2. Mama, and Papa, and Billy were upset because of the accident.
   3. Mama, Papa, and Billy were upset because of the accident.
   4. Mama and Papa and Billy were upset because of the accident.
8. Which of the following is written correctly?
   1. They would stop, turn around, and look at me.
   2. They would stop. They would turn around. They would look at me.
   3. They would stop and turn around, and they would look at me.
   4. They would stop, turn around, and they would look at me.