Lesson 8

q Lesson 8 - Sentence Problems

Assessed Skills from Tennessee Blueprint - 6th Grade

Select the best way to combine sentences to provide syntactic variety within context.

Identify within context a variety of appropriate sentence combining techniques (i.e., comma + coordinating conjunction, use of semi-colon, introductory phrases and/or clauses).

Select the most appropriate method to correct a run-on sentence (i.e., conjunctions, semicolons, and periods to join or separate elements) within context.

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In this lesson you will learn how to recognize these sentence problems: choppy sentences, run-on sentences, and stringy sentences.

Choppy Sentences - Choppy sentences are sentences that are too short. When several short sentence come together they force the reader to go slowly. This makes the writing seem more "elementary" than it truly is.

Examples
Choppy Sentences The sun beat down. It was on Lina's back. She began to get terribly hot. She was uncomfortable.
Corrected The sun beat down on Lina's back, and she began to get terribly hot and uncomfortable.

Choppy Sentences It was afternoon. The day was hot. The truck rocked. Lina had nothing to do. Lina went to sleep.
Corrected Sometime in the afternoon, because of the heat and the rocking motion of the truck and because there was nothing else to do, Lina went to sleep.

Run-On Sentences - A run-on is when when two or more sentences are combined without connecting words or punctuation.

Examples
Run-on Lina heard clanking and slapping sounds as he unbuckled the harness then she heard the slow thud of hooves as the oxen were led away.
Corrected Lina heard clanking and slapping sounds as he unbuckled the harness, and then she heard the slow thud of hooves as the oxen were led away.

Run-on Then suddenly there were loud footsteps Caspar's voice was coming towards her, and in a moment Caspar's fist thudding against the crate.
Corrected Then suddenly there were loud footsteps. Caspar's voice was coming towards her, and in a moment Caspar's fist thudding against the crate.

Run-on The Empty Lands frightened her she didn't want to be alone in such a vast, wild place.
Corrected The Empty Lands frightened her, and she didn't want to be alone in such a vast, wild place.
Corrected Because the Empty Lands frightened her, she didn't want to be alone in such a vast, wild place.
Corrected The Empty Lands frightened her; she didn't want to be alone in such a vast, wild place.

Stringy Sentences - A stringy sentence is when too many clauses usually connected with and, but, so, and because, connect sentences forming one very long sentence. Stringy sentences are so long the reader forgets the beginning of the sentence before reaching the end.

Example
Stringy They carried the sticks and grass back to where the truck was parked, and then Maddy scraped out a shallow hole in the ground with the heel of her shoe, and then in the hole she set the smallest splinters of wood, arranging them in a sort of square.
Corrected They carried the sticks and grass back to where the truck was parked. Then Maddy scraped out a shallow hole in the ground with the heel of her shoe. In the hole she set the smallest splinters of wood, arranging them in a sort of square.

Practice: Write choppy, run-on, or stringy to describe which sentence problem each sentence below contains.

____________________________ Over these she placed some sticks, and on top of those she added larger branches, and then she tucked in some handfuls of dried grass a the bottom of this stick building.
____________________________ Lina stumbled backward. She didn't want to be afraid Caspar and Maddy weren't.
____________________________ From a box on the truck, she took what they called "travelers' cakes" lumps a little smaller than a fist, made of Lina knew not what and she and Caspar stuck them on the end of long sticks and roasted them over the flames.
____________________________ They were dry. They were tasteless. Lina was hungry. She didn't mind much. She ate hers. She stood up. She licked her fingers. She was through.
____________________________ Lina walked over to take the blanket Caspar tossed a big branch onto the fire.
____________________________ Some sparks sprayed up and some flew sideways, caught by the wind, and Lina jumped away, but a few sparks landed on her sock, and she stamped her foot frantically, but this only made the sparks burn brighter.
____________________________ Maddy took off Lina's sock she poured cold water on the burn, but it didn't help much.
____________________________ Caspar lay back on the ground he snored.
____________________________ It was the second night. They stopped. They were beside the ruins of a town. Not much was left of it. There were concrete foundations. There was overgrown weeds. You could see curved streets. Here and there was a wall. Some chimneys were still standing.
____________________________ His ox veered the truck turned sideways so that it blocked the road.
____________________________ Lina climbed into a crate and sat with her head on her knees for a while because she was horrified by the starving, filthy roamer who she thought was a madman or a bandit, or even a murderer.
____________________________ Lina crept out from under her blanket she stood up.

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Answer Key

stringy
run-on
run-on
choppy
run-on
stringy
run-on
run-on
choppy
run-on
stringy
run-on