Lesson 9 - Combining Choppy Sentences

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Assessed Skills from Tennessee Blueprint - 6th Grade

Select the best way to combine sentences to provide syntactic variety within context.

Identify within context a variety of appropriate sentence combining techniques (i.e., comma + coordinating conjunction, use of semi-colon, introductory phrases and/or clauses).

Identify the correct use of commas (i.e., compound sentences, coordinating conjunctions, introductory words, appositives, and interrupters) within context.

Developing Skills from Tennessee Blueprint - 6th Grade

Demonstrate the correct use of commas (e.g., after introductory words, to set off appositive and interrupters, before a coordinating conjunction, and joining independent clauses to form compound sentences).

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In this lesson you will learn how to correct choppy sentences that have words that are repeated in two or more sentences. You can determine this by asking, "Do adjacent sentences contain the same subject and/or the same verb?" You will also learn how to combine choppy sentences by adding modifying words and phrases.

Combining Sentences Rules

Rule 1:  Different Subjects - Same Predicate
When two people or things do the same thing, try to tell about it in one sentence.

Ben thought Doon was guilty. Wilbur thought Doon was guilty.
Ben and Wilbur thought Doon was guilty.

If you use I as part of a combined subject, put I last.

I am traveling to the city. Caspar is traveling to the city.
Caspar and I are traveling to the city.

Rule 2:  Different Predicates - Same Subject
If you have one person doing more than one thing, then place the verbs in a string.

Edward was cataloging the books in the Ark. Edward was arranging the books alphabetically.
Edward was cataloging and arranging the books alphabetically in the Ark.

The person clutched the burnt chunk of wood. The person wrote with angry strokes.
The person clutched the burnt chunk of wood, and wrote with angry strokes.

Rule 3:  Repeated Words
Avoid writing sentences that repeat the same words again and again.

Kenny told Doon he could tell about people. Kenny told Doon he believed he was innocent.
Kenny told Doon he could tell about people, and he believed he was innocent.

"How are you?" said Miss Thorn. "How are you?" said Edward Pocket.
"How are you?" said Miss Thorn and Edward Pocket.

Remember if more than two things are named then you must use commas.

All the people of Ember do is work. All the people of Ember do is eat. All the people of Ember do is sleep.
All the people of Ember do is work, eat, and sleep.

Rule 4:  Sometimes one sentence will do in place of two.

Martha packed parcels. They were skimpy.
Martha packed skimpy parcels.

Animal sounds kept her awake. The animals were scrambling and snuffling.
The scrambling and snuffling sounds of the animals kept her awake.

Rule 5:  Using phrases in sentences lets you say more - with less.

The people had extra food in the storehouse. They were from Sparks.
The people of Sparks had extra food in the storehouse.

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Practice

Part A - Correctly combine the following sentences.

1. Maddy thought Casper's ideas were a little crazy. Lina thought Casper's ideas were a little crazy. (See Rule 1.)

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2. Caspar gave an exasperated sigh. Caspar set down his cup of water. (See Rule 2.)

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3. The Emberites could eat on the riverbank. The Emberites could eat at the edge of the field. The Emberites could eat on the road. The Emberites could eat anywhere they want.  (See Rule 3.)

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4. Edward Pocket brought books to Doon. They were interesting. (See Rule 4.)

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5. Some of them stood silent. They stood with arms folded or hands in pockets.  (See Rule 5.)

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6. The travelers ate by the fire. They ate travelers' cakes.

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7. They traveled the next day. They traveled mile after mile.

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8. Flocks of birds flew. They flew in the air. They were black. The birds trilled.

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9. He hadn't combed his hair. He hadn't tied his shoes. He hadn't washed his face.

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Part B - Multiple Choice

1. Choose the sentence that correctly combines the following underlined sentences.

   Doon went up close to the wall. Doon examined the words scratched there.

   1. Doon went up close to the wall and examined the words scratched there.
   2. Doon went up close to the wall. He examined the words scratched there.
   3. Doon went and examined the words up close to the wall scratched there.
   4. Doon went up close, examined, and scratched the words to the wall.
2. Choose the answer that correctly combines the following underlined sentences.

   I'm afraid these deeds will cause bad feelings to get worse on both sides. They are spiteful.

   1. I'm afraid these spiteful feelings will cause bad deeds to get worse on both sides.
   2. I'm afraid these deeds will cause bad feelings to get worse on both sides, and they are spiteful.
   3. I'm afraid these spiteful deeds will cause bad feelings to get worse on both sides.
   4. I'm afraid these spiteful, bad feelings will cause bad deeds to get worse on both sides.
3. Choose the answer that correctly combines the following underlined sentences.

   I saw a smile spread over his face. He was pleased.

   1. I saw a pleased smile spread over his face.
   2. I saw a smile spread over his face, and he was pleased.
   3. He was pleased as a smile and it was pleased spread over his face.
   4. I saw a smile that was pleased it spread over his face.
4. Choose the answer that correctly combines the following underlined sentences.

   I think it's too hard on our families. Wilbur thinks it's too hard on our families.

   1. Me and Wilbur think it's too hard on our families.
   2. Wilbur and me think it's too hard on our families.
   3. I and Wilbur think it's too hard on our families.
   4. Wilbur and I think it's too hard on our families.
5. Choose the answer that correctly combines the following underlined sentences.

   Lina climbed back into the crate. Lina stuck her feet between the lower slats. Lina held on to the highest slat.

   1. Lina climbed back into the crate, stuck her feet between the lower slats and held on to the highest slat.
   2. Lina climbed back into the crate, stuck her feet between the lower slats, and held on to the highest slat.
   3. Lina climbed back into the crate stuck her feet between the lower slats, and held on to the highest slat.
   4. Lina climbed back into the crate stuck her feet between the lower slats and held on to the highest slat.

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Answer Key

Part A

1. Maddy and Lina thought Casper's ideas were a little crazy.
2. Caspar gave an exasperated sigh, and set down his cup of water.
3. The Emberites could eat on the riverbank, at the edge of the field, on the road, or  anywhere they want. 
4. Edward Pocket bought interesting books to Doon.
5. Some of them stood silent with arms folded or hands in pockets.
6. The travelers ate travelers' cakes by the fire.
7. They traveled mile after mile the next day.
8. Flocks of black birds flew in the air and trilled.
9. He hadn't combed his hair, tied his shoes, or washed his face.

Part B

1. a
2. c
3. a
4. d
5. b