Lesson 10

Lesson 10 - Editing a Descriptive Paragraph

Activity 1

Below are writings from students. You are to grade each writing on a scale of 1 (Needs Improvement) to 6 (Exceeds Expectations) on each of the following elements.

Criteria

Points

	1 Needs Improvement	2 Promising	3 Developing	4 Competent	5 Strong	6 Exceeds Expectations
Lessons 2-3 Imagery	little or no descriptive language	little descriptive language	some descriptive language	many descriptive words	many descriptive words	The reader feels s/he is a part of the setting through the vivid imagery.
Lessons4-7 Figurative Language	no figurative language	at least one sample of figurative language	at least two samples of figurative language	at least three samples of figurative language	original use of figurative language	uses figurative language creatively to enhance the story
Lesson 8 Point of View	Incorrect changing of point of view three or more times.	Incorrect changing of point of view two times.	Incorrect changing of point of view one time	Uses point of view	Strong point of view	Consistent unique point of view
Lesson 8 Interesting Setting	no setting	limited setting with vague words	describes the setting	good use of imagery to describe setting	strong use of imagery used to describe setting	vivid imagery used to describe setting
Lesson 9 Does the writing Show/Not Tell?	The reader does not know what the character is doing	The writer tells you what the character is doing without using any descriptive language.	The writer tells you what the character is doing with little descriptive language.	Some descriptive words are used to "show" what the character is doing.	Many descriptive words and colorful verbs are used to "show" what the character is doing.	Extraordinary descriptive words and colorful verbs are used to "show" what the character is doing.
Grammar and Spelling	Work has four or more spelling errors and/or grammatical errors.	Work has five or more spelling errors and/or grammatical errors.	Work has four or more spelling errors and/or grammatical errors.	Work has three or more spelling errors and/or grammatical errors.	Work has no more than two or more spelling errors and/or grammatical errors.	Work has no spelling errors and/or grammatical errors.
Capitalization and Punctuation	Writing has twelve or more punctuation and capitalization errors.	Writing has nine to eleven punctuation and capitalization errors.	Writing has six to eight punctuation and capitalization errors.	Writing has three to five punctuation and capitalization errors.	Writing has one or two punctuation and capitalization errors.	Writing has no errors in punctuation and capitalization.

Use the rubric to score some of the student writings below.

Examples

Activity 2

You are now ready to write your paragraph. Use this checklist of items to help you with your writing:

Does your opening sentence grab the attention of your audience?
Look at each of your descriptive words. Do you have (dead words) such as nice, stuff, thing, awesome, etc. ? If so, change these to words that "tell a story" or "paint a picture".
Do your sentences begin with the same words used over and over? Alter your sentence beginnings.
Do your sentences start with conjunctions: or, but, so, or and? If so, change them.
Does your writing shift in point of view from first person "I" to second person "you" to third person "he, she, it"? Be consistent.
Have you used colorful verb? Watch out for weak verbs, e.g., is, are, was, were, got, etc. Use your thesaurus.

Not walk but stroll, amble, march, stride, pace, hike, stagger, etc.
Have you stayed in the same tense? (no shifting from past tense to present tense to past tense)
Have you used figures of speech such as similes, alliteration, etc.?
Do your sentences vary in length? Watch out for run-ons. Can you combine short choppy sentences?

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After making corrections to your writing exchange with a partner. Edit each others writing using the editing marks listed below.

Editing Marks Poster http://www.reallygoodstuff.com/pdfs/147779.pdf

Editing Marks